One time I forgot to change outfits. It was death. Tried to spin some bollocks about mucking out the reindeer stables, but by that point he was too far gone. Where were we. Ah yes. My rise to musical immortality. I am more or less a deity. But that was never what fuelled me. The real heart of this story, my friend, is good old-fashioned love…. You never forget the first girl that broke your heart. Nor the first girl that broke your pelvis.
And several vertebrae. Kelly was from a family of bare-knuckle fighters, you see, quite well regarded locally. Each time I tried to approach her, she kicked the shit out of me. Then one day it dawned on me. My way in. There was one thing Kelly enjoyed even more than violence, and that was music. If I was to win her heart, I needed to be in a band.
Then followed a string of experimental groups, searching for my sound. So much raw, original music, lost to history. Shame really. Murdoc launched the car through the shop window, crashing directly into Stuart's face, putting him into a coma and giving him 8-ball fractures.
After the incident, Murdoc was arrested and was sentenced to 30, hours of community service and spending 10 hours a week caring for Stuart. One day while skidding his car around a car park in Nottingham, Murdoc accidentally sent Stuart flying through the windshield into a curb, waking him up from his coma. Impressed by Stuart's appearance, Murdoc recruited him as the lead singer and keyboardist for his band and gave him the nickname 2-D.
The band also hired 2-D's girlfriend at the time, Paula Cracker, as their guitarist, but was soon fired after she was caught having sex with Murdoc in the studio toilets by Russel and received 5 more punches to his nose. After Noodle joined the band and the band was finally named Gorillaz, Murdoc organised a gig at the Camden Brownhouse and invited Mr. He and the rest of the band were successfully signed after their first gig on November that year.
With the success of the band's first album in , the band launched a disastrous world tour. While in the United States, Murdoc established a cult of personality with various seedy individuals, chief of which being Little Jimmy Manson, a psychopathic midget dangerously obsessed with either killing Murdoc or falling in love with him.
In a hotel room one night, Murdoc summoned a black-skinned demon boy that ended up siding with Jimmy and stalking the band ever since. After achieving fame, fortune, and several nasty hangovers, the alcoholic bassist relocated his band over to Los Angeles so they could begin production on a movie.
Unfortunately, this was never to be. They were conned by a movie director who it turns out, was just an insane man while Murdoc attempted starring in a television program he was too old for the part , and they ventured unsuccessfully into scriptwriting. Murdoc took off to a Tijuana brothel after strangling 2-D who, like the rest of the band, went their separate ways and was eventually thrown in prison with a year sentence for giving counterfeit checks to prostitutes.
It was during this sentence that he was acquainted with his raven Cortez, the "jailbird with a chilling reputation". While serving his sentence Murdoc acquired some prison ink in the form of the seven deadly sins tattooed across his back , and also took an open University course: "Amateur Administration of Pharmaceutical Medicines" and managed to pass a medical exam, earning the title 'Dr.
After returning to the brothel to make a final point to the Mexican authorities, Murdoc loaded up on duty-free tequila and a few sombreros and made his way back to Kong, finding that Noodle had written the second album by herself which he tried to take the credit for. The new album, Demon Days, made the band into even bigger superstars. Gorillaz-Unofficial released an article containing the contents of the book.
Are you mad? She's Noodle. We're Gorillaz! The greatest band on earth. I'm arrogant, ruthless even, but I'm not stupid. I'm not having some two-bit mouldy despot record company nut killing off my band. That clown got what he deserved.
He set himself up and burned all the evidence in the process. Instant Karma for Mr. Jimmy Mason. The reason why was because Jimmy had auditioned for Gorillaz a few years back, but was turned down after Noodle got the job, causing Jimmy to have a grudge with Gorillaz ever since. Murdoc saw Jimmy's plan and decided to get rid of him before it was too late. Murdoc told Jimmy that he had a plan to "help him" to kill off one of the band members so that Gorillaz would end with a bang, and that Jimmy could start a new band with Murdoc.
However, Murdoc turned the tables on Jimmy by not only "forgetting" to leave the weapon aboard the island, but by also locking him in the windmill. Jimmy supposedly died within the crash while Noodle parachuted to safety. It was stated by Murdoc that Noodle had been planning to leave after Demon Days, although leaving what, the band or the country, was never answered.
Though it had been planned for months, she had neglected to tell anyone of her plans although Murdoc stated it was obvious what she was doing.
While some may say this is one of the only occasions when it appears that Murdoc isn't as selfish as he appears, he later states that "no one was going to ruin his band", obviously meaning he would not jeopardise his fame.
However on the 8th November , the day of the live chat on bandmate Murdoc's Facebook page, Murdoc revealed that Noodle has actually been taken to Hell in place of Russel Hobbs by the demons invading the Kong Studios building.
Everyone needs someone. Do I admit the last five years of my life have been a waste? Do I waste the rest of my life? We have romanticized the idea of romance, and it is cancerous. People are more in love with the idea of love than they are with the person they are with. The worst thing you can do with your life is to spend it with the wrong human being.
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